Have you ever stopped to consider how to praise your child with words? Or how your verbal praise affects your child?
As parents, we naturally praise our child’s successes and celebrate when they reach an end goal.
“You earned an A on your test, you are so smart.”
“You scored a goal in the game, you are a great player!”
“You performed perfectly at the recital, you are so talented.”
These accomplishments are absolutely important and should be celebrated, however… by only celebrating and praising big end goal successes, students may start to believe..
I am only smart IF I get a good grade.
I am only a good player IF I score a goal.
I am only a talented musician IF I perform perfectly.
Try these ways to praise your child. Try praising the soft skills that the child used to reach the goal.
Instead of: “You earned an A on your test, you are so smart.”
Say: “You earned an A on your test, look how all your hard work paid off!”
Instead of: “You scored a goal in the game, you are a great player!”
Say: “You scored a goal in the game by really persevering against the other team.”
Instead of: “You performed perfectly at the recital, you are so talented.”
Say: “You gave a great performance by learning from all your mistakes in practice.”
You should be praising your child for their…
- Effort
- Focus
- Kindness
- Positive attitude
- Helpfulness
- Creativity
- Learning from mistakes
- Cooperation
- Honesty
- Trying something new
- Perseverance
These are the skills you want to help them develop because these are the skills that will take them further in life.
